That night Kirana cooked beef broccoli and fried soybean cake with spicy sauce. William ate greedily. How he loved to eat almost everything amazed her. She took care of her son as she took care of herself, too. She had a baby growing in her belly. She needed to eat a lot for him.
“What if you have a brother or sister? Do you want him?” Kirana asked as they were doing dishes together after dinner.
“Brother or sister, Mom? May I have a sister?” He said hopefully. Kirana frowned.
“What’s wrong with a brother?” She confusingly asked.
“Mom, I have lots of toy. I don’t want him to take it from me.” He rolled his eyes as if she should figure out the fact.
“Your brother, or sister, will have his own toys. He won’t take yours. Besides, by having a brother, both of you can play together.” She suggested.
“Ello told me that his brother took his toy and broke it. I don’t want my toys broken, Mom.” He looked very serious about not breaking his toys.
“Will, having a brother is like making friends. Have Ello ever stolen your food without asking your permission? Have he ever taken the toys you’ve played at school?” Kirana asked. William’ jaw dropped. Kirana chuckled. He was so funny.
“You know about it, Mom?” He broadened his beautiful light blue eyes.
“Of course, I do. I experienced the same things with my old friends.” She shrugged. “Then, what do you do? Do you keep fighting over something?”
“No, Mom. We apologize and be friends again. We play together again.” He answered.
“You’ll do the same with your brother or sister. You may be fight or argue, but you’ll be brothers again.” Kirana concluded. William nodded.
“When will my brother come, Mom?”
“Next year. He’s growing in my tummy.”
“Like Ello’s mom.” William touched his mother’s stomach. Kirana chuckled. Ello’s mother was pregnant with her third child when she already promised would not have any child after the second.
“Yes, just like her.” She quietly answered. “But, this is a secret between us. You can’t tell Ello, yet. Understand?” William frowned.
“Why I can’t tell Ello, Mom? He always tells me everything. Why can’t I tell him everything, too?” He looked confused. She was ready with this question.
“Because he’s still very little. When he’s growing bigger, you may tell him.”
“Ah! You’re right.” His eyes brightened. “Ello told me about it when his mom’s tummy was big. I got it, Mom. I won’t tell Ello.”
“Smart boy.” Kirana smiled. William silenced as he looked at her thoroughly. She washed away the soap from a mug waiting for her son’s words.
“Mom, why my hair is not black and my eyes aren’t dark brown like you?” He wondered.
“You don’t like your hair and eyes color?” Kirana asked. He was too young to understand how his hair and eye color were craved by lots of people in this world.
“I like it.” He touched his hair and stroked his head. “But I’m different with other friends. Why am I different, Mom?”
“You’re different because you’re special, Will. I’ve told you that many times.” She shook her head in disbelief. Someone might tell him something that made him upset with his hair and eyes again.
“I want to be like my friends. I want to be like you.” He said quietly.
Kirana dried the last plate and put it in the cabinet. Then, she dried her hands and William’s with hand towel. She put him to sit on a stool near the counter and sat beside him. Her head was thinking how she should discuss this.
“Do you remember the book we read last night? The boy in the book had the same hair and eye color with you.” She started the discussion.
“I remember.” William nodded knowingly.
“Who did he look like?” She asked.
“His father.” He quickly asked. She knew he would remember it. “His sister had red hair and green eyes, just liked her mom. Right, Mom?”
“Right. So, you have the same hair and eyes color like Daddy.” Kirana confessed. William widened his eyes and mouth. She nodded.
“Oooh. Now I get it. Unfortunately, Daddy died.” He said quietly. She felt something squeezed her chest hearing his sad voice. “Can’t God send him to meet me, Mom? Isn’t God bored playing with him everyday in heaven?”
Kirana groaned. Why did her son not imitate her nature? Why did he have to be liked Miles with his thousand questions every time his questions were answered? To avoid answering his questions, she told him to go to his bedroom and get ready to sleep. She was tired and wanted to sleep soon.
However, she could not sleep that night. She had a big problem and it was growing in her belly. She was pregnant with Miles’s second child. In months, she could not hide it any longer. Should she tell Miles about this? What if he forced her to marry him the second he knew it? Kirana had no reason to decline again. He would happy for this was his great chance to finally marry her.
And what would happen to William? Would Miles accept and love him? No. She should not think the worst about Miles. He was a good man. He loved her. He would not hurt their son, wouldn’t he? Yes, he would love William. Who could not love the sweetest, smartest boy in the world like him? She did not need to worry about him anymore.
The most scary thing was how the staffs would look at her when they found out. She was single and pregnant! Damn! What would they think if they saw the similarity between Miles and William? Oh, God. She was so stupid! She was not just ruined her reputation, but also Miles’s.
It was easy for them to calculate and realize that they were together when he was married. William was born when his late wife was still alive. And then, her family who hated Miles with their hearts would have lots of reason to hurt him through William.
She could not accomplish her plan to run away from Miles life. The company needed her. Her Romeo needed her. Even though she always let him down in their relationship, she did not want to disappoint him with her job. But, what was the different between ran away tomorrow or the day before her belly was swelling?
And one day, William would ask who was his brother’s father. Oh, no! She could not use the same reason. It was impossible for every man who was her child’s father died. The hardest part to explain was if her second child had blue eyes and blond hair. Gosh. What if they both looked alike? Her lying would not work anymore. She should not lie in first time.
What should she do?
(Cover source: Google Images with some changes)