Ran away from him six years ago was one thing, declined his proposal was another thing, hid the fact that they had son together was acceptable, but told him that his father was dead was unbelievably shockingly hurt him to the core.
“You told all that crap to our son?” Miles protested. “I died? Are you really expecting me to die?”
“It’s not as bad as it sounds. You need to listen to me first.” Kirana replied. He put his hands on his hips as he glared at her.
“Oh. Gladly. I want to listen to everything. I don’t want you to omit any important fact.” Miles challenged. Kirana rolled her eyes.
“Will, go play with your friends. I need to talk to Daddy.” Kirana patted the boy head lightly. William widened his eyes and turned his head toward his mother.
“I have a daddy?” He asked shockingly. She nodded.
“You do. You have a daddy.” Kirana smiled. William turned around and looked at Miles expectantly. He walked closer and hugged his father.
Miles widened his eyes. He glanced at Kirana then at the little boy. He hesitantly wrapped the boy in his embrace. He was so small he was afraid he would crush his fragile body. His son. His hair and body smelled like baby products. Sweet and soft. He deeply breathed him in. The scent of the part of his heart. William lessened his hold and ran back to his friends. Suddenly, Miles’s heart was empty.
“Come on. We sit on our spot.” Kirana invited. Miles nodded. He stood up.
Without a second thought, he reached Kirana’s hand and walked beside her. She turned her head and looked at their entwined hands. A smile appeared on her lips. They sat facing each other on the blanket. Miles folded his legs in front of his body and waited patiently.
“Well, I’m so sorry.” She started with an apologize. “I had to do that. It was easier to say that his dad passed away than explain the truth. He would not understand every word I said.”
“Okay. I can accept that.” Miles nodded. They had no agreement about a baby. At that time he believed that he could not conceive any woman. “So, when will you tell me about him?”
“Never.” She honestly said.
“May I know why?” Miles asked.
“Because I never thought that we would see each other again, Miles.” She confessed. “I asked you to sleep with me for you were a stranger. There would be no chance for the next encounter, no drama for unrequited love, and no commitment.”
“That was all?”
“And also because I, I,” She stuttered.
“What is it Kirana? Just tell me. I want to know everything.” Miles urged. Kirana sighed quietly, and then nodded her head.
“My parents are passed away six years ago. My sister stays abroad with her family. She has changed her nationality. Since she’s married, she never came to visit us, except after Dad and Mom passed away.” Kirana started her story.
“I’ve been broken-hearted for twice, Miles. My male friends who I thought like me, too, were not having the same feeling I have. They all have left after they introduced their lovers to me. I have lots of friends but I’m lonely.” She quietly said.
“For getting married, I’m not sure I’m attractive enough to make a man falls in love with me. Then, I’ve thought of having a child. I’m not married, adopting a child is not an option. Until that idea crossed my mind. Slept with a man on my fertile days.” She swallowed hard.
“I wasn’t thinking of trapped any man to marry me. No. My goal was simple. I wanted my own child. It was okay if I wasn’t married.” She looked down not meeting his eyes when she finished her story.
“I proposed you before I met William. What’s your reason to refuse me? You never told me.” Miles crossed his hands across his chest.
“I was afraid you’re going to take him from me.” She clenched her fists on her lap.
“I’ve proposed you, Kirana. William is a blessed for me. I won’t take him from your side. I want to marry you.” Miles said in a very serious tone. Kirana closed her lips tightly. She could not lie to him anymore. “Why did you decline my proposal?”
“When you told me about your wife using your body to have a child, well, I did the same thing. You were so mad at her it decreased your sexual desire with her. I was scared you would mad at me when you found out the truth.” Kirana confessed. Miles’s eyes were softened.
“You know what makes you different from my late wife?” Miles asked. Kirana shook her head. “She used me, Kirana. She scolded me when she wasn’t pregnant and never wanted to come to a doctor for checking our problems. You know why? Because she knew it. She was the one who was infertile. I found the lab report between her personal stuffs. That was after I got my therapy.”
“Why was she so scared, I didn’t understand.” He was puzzled. “I always told her that if she was infertile, we would adopt a child to raise together as our child. I was never threatened her to leave her if she was the one having a problem. But still, she was frightened.”
“You? You give me joy. I trust in myself again. I feel worthy. The thing I never felt again when having sex, I feel it with you. You never showed any sign of trapping or using my body for having a child. All I have in my head at that time, I wasn’t fertile and I enjoyed us. No matter how many times we were having sexual encounter, I wasn’t afraid with the consequences.”
“I know, I was the one doing the bad thing. I never stop asking God’s forgiveness for cheating on my wife, for breaking my vow toward her. It was true we had a problem in our marriage, but that didn’t mean my behavior was appropriate.” Miles ran his hand on his face and sighed.
“But, God brought us together. I know I don’t deserve you and William. Yet, if you give me a chance, that’s all I ask, I promise I won’t let you down.” He promised. She looked as if he was telling a lie. It was not her fault. The nights they spent together were the ugly truth of his capability in cheating.
Miles reached one of her hands. “Kirana, I promise I’ll be faithful to you. There was no one night stand I have with another woman besides you. Not in the past, now, or in the future. I’ll show you and our son that I’ll always love you.”
“And him?” Kirana placed her hand on her belly. Miles followed her gaze. He looked at Kirana and her tummy. She was smiling and nodding. Miles’s jaw dropped.
“You, you’re pregnant?” Miles asked in disbelief.
“Yes.” Kirana nodded. He could not find a word. He opened his mouth but no word came out.
“So, I did it. My plan’s successful.” He laughed. Kirana frowned.
“Yes. I forced you to come with me to the seminar and booked the same suite for us to stay together just to make you pregnant. I was thinking to force to marry be by conceiving you.” Miles laughed. “That’s why I’m not mad the second I heard about your plan six years ago.”
(Cover source: Google Images with some changes)