What should I do then? Willingly let my husband divorced me and married another woman? Where would I go after that? During our marriage, I surrendered all my daily needs to my husband. I did not work, I did not need to do anything besides taking care of our house and his needs. But, my husband did not want me anymore.
“Baby,” Hendra knelt down in front of me and quickly reached for my hands. I immediately pulled my hands away from his grasp.
“Don’t touch me! You’ve touched another woman with those hands.” I blurted out. I wiped the tears on both cheek with the back of my hands.
“No. Love, listen to me.” He said softly. I still could not believe it happened.
“I don’t want to listen to you!” As loud as I could, I yelled at him. He did not touch me, but he did not stay away either.
“There were just she and I in that room. If you didn’t want to listen to me, from whom you’ll get the whole story?” He said pleadingly. I was quiet. He read it as a sign that I let him to finish his words.
“I’m so sorry. I should be the one who told you about the hotel, not Kafin. I just, I’m not ready to see you in pain. Tomorrow will be the perfect time to talk about this because tonight I’m tired and so are you.” He regretted.
“I’m so mad at you. I, I shouldn’t be mad. Of course, you have a right to love or not love me. Your heart isn’t mine. Last night, I was going insane and trying to release my anger in the wrong way. But, baby, I didn’t do anything with that woman. We just kissed.” He confessed. It really did hurt my heart. “I couldn’t do more than that because you didn’t deserve to be treated that bad. Please, I didn’t cheat on you, love. I promise you, I didn’t betray you.”
“You kissed her.” I said in trembling voice. Hendra put his head and eyes down, could not look straightly at my eyes. He was a man who never kissed without giving his feeling out. That meant he kissed that woman with everything he had in his heart.
“I did. I’m sorry. I really am sorry.” He cried sadly, breaking my heart again.
That was not the last time my husband asked for my forgiveness. Every time he saw me sad or did something that showed him that I was mad, he always said sorry. And I changed since that night. I could not help myself to change. I thought that incident would be my ultimate ticket to get over this marriage. But, filed a divorce for a husband who almost slept with a woman was not a good reason. On the other side, my husband was a kind person and respectful. All people we knew would be on his side.
“I promise, I’ll get that forgiveness from you.” Hendra said, took me back to present time, back to reality. He stood up, leaned down to kiss my lips, and loosened his hug. “I’m going to take a shower.”
I sat at the edge of the bed, seeing he walked into the adjoined bathroom. He smiled at me as he closed the door. When the door was shut, I sighed quietly. I touched my lips, then my chest. He really knew how to make me happy. Moreover, knew how to touch my heart by touching the sensitive parts of my body.
It would be easier for me to curse our marriage if Hendra was a bad and like-to-hit husband. But no, life did not make things easy for me. I married a man I did not love, but I never lacked of care and affection. Hendra knew how to show his love toward me.
When we walked into the shopping center, whatever caught my attention would have been waiting for me at home. Whenever I was bored and lost my spirit, that weekend we would take vacations to beautiful places. Seeing I was sad, my husband would accompany me at home and we watched suspense movies all day long. At the time I missed my family, that very night my parents and Zach would have dinner with us. When I wanted to meet my friends, they would suddenly come to pick me up at home and we spent time together at the mall or beauty center.
Since we got married, everything I needed I would get it. Hendra never let me felt deprived or less fortunate compared to other women. I got whatever clothes I wanted, I owned lots of expensive jewelry, got the best skin and hair treatment in the city, had the great service at home, and whatever food I wanted to try I would get it. With all that I had, a lot of woman was jealous of me. No wonder, I was not only having a husband who loved me, but also everything that many women wanted.
Hendra was not handsome. His eyes were too small, his nose was too big, and his lips were too thick on his square face. What caught women’s attention was his height and pale white skin. When he smiled, he looked so sincere and happy with his beautiful white teeth and dimples on both cheeks. And of course, his status and wealth would make any woman ignored his physical deficiency for the sake of a comfortable and well-off life.
But it never caught my attention. Not long time ago, not after we got married for six years. What people said about love would grow over time was not happened to me. Six years together, only Hendra’s love grew deeper. I still had no feelings toward him.
Hearing the sound of the shower had stopped, I sighed heavily. After brushing his teeth and combed his hair, Hendra would come out of the bathroom. We had been apart for a week, although I was sure he ought to be very tired, I needed to be prepared if he asked me to have sex. I wore one of my nightgowns and walked to our bed. At the same time, Hendra came out of the bathroom, he immediately hugged me from behind.
“Mm. Every man could not wait to go home from his trip, if he had a wife like you.” He took a deep breath, then kissed my neck. “Will you be mad if we go straight to bed tonight? I’m really tired.”
“I won’t. I’m tired, too.” I said truthfully.
Hendra kissed my shoulder, and then unwrapped his hands. He walked to the side of bed where he usually slept. I laid down on my side. With the remote controller in his hand, he turned the light off and left just one desk lamp on. He slid closer to me, hold me from behind, and release a long sigh.
“Good night, love. I love you.” He whispered.
“Good night.” I closed my eyes.
Quietly I breathed a sigh of relief. Fortunately, I did not have to serve him on the bed that night. I could sleep soundly.
(Picture Source: pixabay.com by @pixel2013 with some changes)